A Wizarding School

Did you know that as part of the University of Maine system’s commitment to public transparency, you can look up the annual salaries of “regular employees” employed by the system and its seven campuses? It’s true. Looking through November 2013 data (the latest available), I notice that the University of Maine campus in Orono employs two people under the official job title of “Wizard.” One of them is even a “Wizard Coordinator.”

Think carefully: if I ask you how to get to the University of Maine — exactly how to get to the University of Maine — can you give me absolutely precise directions? Did you ever see odd-colored lights streaming out of the on-campus dorms late at night? Have you ever had a conversation with a graduate or current student of University of Maine student in which you ask them what they’re studying and they respond in vague terms (“this and that, “stuff,” “qualitative research,” “arts & sciences”) and then quickly change the subject?

I can’t speak my claim out loud, because I don’t have proof, but you know what I’m suggesting. Think about it — and look for the signs.

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